Dear Readers
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Just a few more statements made by Mr. Gary Chapman that I believe will be helpful.
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• Forgiveness is the choice to love rather than demand justice. When we are living out of our true selves, even greater than our desire to get even is our desire to reconciliation.
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• We refuse to allow the person's misdeed to thwart future growth in the relationship, and we do not allow our feelings of hurt and disappointment to control our behaviour.
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• What forgiveness does is open the possibility for a better relationship in the future.
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• Forgiveness provides the platform on which this healing can take place.
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• Forgiveness opens the door for the possibility of renewed trust in time.
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• When we act out of authentic love, we choose to focus on the future and do not allow our minds to be obsessed with the past failures that are now forgiven. We choose to remove the offense as a barrier and allow the relationship to be restored. Once we forgive, our love should strive to keep no record of wrongs.
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• being willing to forgive small offenses is a step toward experiencing love as a way of life.
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• We do know that forgiveness - both given and received -can bring healing and change lives. To love authentically, we must confess and turn from our own failures even as we extend forgiveness to others.
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• Failure to apologize and seek forgiveness allows the offense to remain a barrier between you and the other person. Every barrier you erect leads you deeper into isolation. Forgiveness is critical to your own healing as we as that of others.
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• No long-term positive relationship exists without confession, a change in behaviour, and forgiveness. we need not be perfect in order to have good relations, but we must be willing to deal with our failures realistically.
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• "I don't want anger to take up space in my brain right now".
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• When someone has wronged you nd refuse to apologize, the challenge is not to forgive the unapologizing offender but to release him, along with hurt and anger, if the offender confesses his error and makes positive changes in his life, you can then forgive. If not, the consequences of his actions will find him in time without any help from you. Releasing a person is very different from forgiving. It does not lead to reconciliation, but it does free you emotionally and spiritually to become the person you were meant to be.
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• When we become obsessed with our own hurt and anger, we are guilty of misguided passion. If there is a time when we need help and guidance in handling our emotions, it is when we have been wronged by a friend or family member. Confessing our own failure to handle hurt and anger in a positive way liberates us from further resentment.
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• Your return good for bad.
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• Choosing to apologize is a major step in the process of becoming a forgiving person.
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• When we spend our energy on restoring the relationship, we are far better equipped to love others in the future.
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